O-Bits: A Choice, not an Eco-Edition

We knew it was going to happen, it was just a matter of when. But we didn’t expect to happen so soon.  What rough beast now comes to the world of death? Hipsters. Yes, artisanal caskets are now a thing. Pahiki Eco-Caskets has opened up shop in, where else, Hawaii. Made of reclaimed wood—just like the bar at a third-wave coffee shop!—Pahiki Eco-Caskets are hand made, with no metal used at all. The company’s intention is make the deceased leave the softest impact on earth. Call us cynics, but their caskets sound like the plain pine boxes Orthodox Jews are buried in, although we doubt any of our altakakers ever used the handles to hold flowers.

Pahiki is not the only company looking to make a go of it in what I imagine their owners call the eco-funeral space. Champion Chemicals market a line of what they call Enigma Eco-balming fluids. Now, we have no idea if these plant-based oils (in a near-anhydrous carrier) really do deliver significant chemostasis effects with good cosmetic/restorative results, but who decided to call them “Enigma”? I know death is the great unknown, but is a funeral really a good idea to remind people? So, how does your product offer excellent temporary sanitation and acceptable temporary preservation? We have no idea, it’s an Enigma…

Finally: You’ve cremated your Uncle Mac, as he requested, and now you want to bury him at sea, because no one liked him anyway, and this way no one will ever have to visit his grave.  But you don’t want to add to pollution of our oceans. What to do, what to do? well, Passages Casket and urns have just the thing for you! Water-soluble urns. This way, when you toss him over the ferry on your way to Catalina, you can do so without feeling any guilt. For Mac, may we recommend the Journey Earthurn, made of sustainably produced, bio-degradable paper, it will float for a few moments, then sink to the bottom, just where we think Uncle Mac (great uncle, if we’re being honest) belongs.

Steven Mirkin

Steven Mirkin’s diverse career has taken him from politics to pop culture to high art, offering him a front row seat to some of the most fascinating events and personalities of our time: writing speeches, fundraising appeals and campaign materials for Ed Koch, John Heinz and independent presidential candidate John B. Anderson; chronicling the punk/new wave scenes in New York and London; interviewing musicians such as Elton John, John Lydon and Buck Owens; profiling modern masters Julian Schnabel, Paul Schrader and Jonathan Safran Foer; and writing for TV shows including 21, The Chamber, Let's Make A Deal, and Rock Star: INXS.

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