O-Bits: Dead and Alive Edition

A new addition to our list of places to avoid if you’re dead: Romania. Where the courts, seeing a living person, have no problem telling them “sorry, you’re dead.” Sixty-three-year-old Constantin Reliu petitioned to have the death certificate filed by this wife after he was missing for ten years rescinded. But the court, although Reliu was standing before it—above ground and breathing—told him he was too late, the statute of limitations on legal resurrections has past, and he’ll just have to stay dead. “I am officially dead, although I’m alive,” a bemused Reliu commented. “I have no income and because I am listed dead, I can’t do anything.” Somewhere, Franz Kafka is smiling.

If the serpentine, skin-shedding, venom-scented life of a “snake whisperer” appeals to you, you’re in luck. There’s an surprise opening. in the Malaysian fire department. You’ll be taking the place of Abu Zarin Hussin, head of the King Cobra Squad. In case you’re wondering: he didn’t leave the job willingly. He died, bitten by a king cobra who just wouldn’t be whispered to. He must have loved his job—this wasn’t the first time a snake bit him. The last time was in 2015, when he spent two days in coma after another King Cobra sank its fangs in him. If interested, leave your name in the comments, and we’ll pass it on. One piece of advice: avoid the cobras.

We don’t know about you, but we’re not especially big fans of WWE; we have too fond memories of Bruno Sanmartino and Gorilla Monsoon…those guys were real fake wrestlers! A favored activity on dull teenage Saturday nights was to get high and tune into the UHF channel where it was broadcast in Spanish. (Never let it be said that Obit doesn’t know how to have fun!)   But we do keep tabs on the on-again, off-again career of The Undertaker. In the latest news, John Cena, the wrestler who followed  Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson from the ring to movie stardom, stormed the ring at this week’s Wrestlemania Raw and called The Undertaker out. They’ve be tussling at WrestleMania 34, on April 8 in New Orleans, Louisiana. Not that we ever need an excuse to go to New Orleans, but this could be it.

Steven Mirkin

Steven Mirkin’s diverse career has taken him from politics to pop culture to high art, offering him a front row seat to some of the most fascinating events and personalities of our time: writing speeches, fundraising appeals and campaign materials for Ed Koch, John Heinz and independent presidential candidate John B. Anderson; chronicling the punk/new wave scenes in New York and London; interviewing musicians such as Elton John, John Lydon and Buck Owens; profiling modern masters Julian Schnabel, Paul Schrader and Jonathan Safran Foer; and writing for TV shows including 21, The Chamber, Let's Make A Deal, and Rock Star: INXS.